How to Create a Sense of Community
And, how to keep it thriving
Some basic concepts exist to create a sense of community. I am fascinated by communities, how they work and why people are drawn to them. There has to be something more than a “feel good” feeling that pulls people together and keeps them coming back for more. It’s kind of like a pep rally before a big game. It’s a high energy, high engagement fun place to be.
Doctor David McMillan, psychologist and community building giant suggests community centers around three L’s.
- Listen
- Love
- Learn
Listen
People will gather in places if they believe someone is listening. When ears listen, instead of listening to respond, people begin to share their stories and part of themselves. People share of themselves and you get to know them. Listen and participate in their story, their lives. It’s a powerful connection.
Love
People want to be loved, even if they feel unworthy of receiving love and they want to feel safe. Sometimes they want to heal. None of these things happen without trust. When people trust they can share, then they can hear and improve.
Learn
Learning takes place when the above components are in place. It’s an integration that creates a sense of community and people are drawn in to give and receive support.
Psychologists McMillan & Chavis boil a sense of community down to one sentence:
“Sense of community is a feeling that members have of belonging, a feeling that members matter to one another and to the group, and a shared faith that members’ needs will be met through their commitment to be together”.
A sense of community also involves…
Membership
Boundaries help people feel like they belong. Let’s call them commonalities of what’s acceptable and what’s not. People need to feel safe without safety or privacy of an online community no one shares. Think of it like a counselor’s office. Talking stops or becomes a whisper when the door is open. Trust happens when the door is closed. There also needs to be a personal investment. Maybe it’s a monetary pledge, a contribution, or even more simple like engagement in the community.
Influence
Influence happens when people matter. They have to feel important. When they show up to a community they want to know they will be noticed. And, it’s a two-way street, they also need to notice and validate others.
Fulfilling needs
Needs get fulfilled naturally when people care about each other. It’s not complicated. People show up tell, share something of themselves, become members, and get and receive influence. It’s the next natural step, to fulfill each other’s needs. People in community acknowledge each others’ needs and values.
Shared emotional connection
The easiest way for people to establish a shared emotional connection is to have a common goal. Community is everywhere and it’s not niche specific. If it’s a group of health enthusiasts they likely share health tips, tricks, products, and anything health related. If it’s a group of writers they share their words and support each other. If it’s business owners they share tips on keeping their employees happy and fulfilling their customer’s needs.
“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connects us with our fellow men”-Herman Melville
Everyone needs community. It’s a place of belonging and it’s more difficult to create. How do you create a community? Comment with your response.
Know someone who needs help creating community? Please share this with them.
This is a great summary of what community looks like. I love that you based this on science – yet you simplify it so anyone can understand.
The three L’s – Listen, Love, and Learn – are particularly helpful when measuring your own community with this standard.
Thanks for this, Nicole! And it’s great to have you on my community team.
Hi Frank! Thanks for dropping by to comment. Community seems difficult to create, and it’s a lot simpler than we think when we break it down into manageable parts.
A community is so important and I’ve had the privilege of being part of some really great communities. Sadly, some have never experienced being a member of even one. Mutual respect and understanding. Listening. All of these things are important. And all necessary to make sure it’s a safe community where people feel valued. Good article, as always.
Hi Anne! Thanks for reading and commenting. Community is a clear path to friendship, comradery, and growth. If someone hasn’t found a community to interact with than they are missing out on experiencing mutual understanding. Thanks for your support.
Thanks, Nicole! This post has had me thinking all day about community, slowly coming round to realising I’d love to provide community for my audience 🙂 For the moment, one step at a time.
Hi Colleen! Glad you are here. Community is key to building trust. It will help your audience trust and I understand that it is a concept to build once the foundation is in place. One step at a time and moving forward-good for you!!
Great advice, thank-you! I liked the scientific bits too.
Hi Nicol! Glad these tips are helpful. Thanks for your time to read!
Great Post Nicole.
Thank you, Laura, and for your time to read!
There’s nothing better than the feeling of knowing people are behind you, with common goals and enthusiasm. Great definitions and motivation here. Thanks Nicole.
Hi Sandy! Glad you stopped by. Isn’t the feeling of community second-to-none? When people are with you, beside you, and inspiring you to be a better version of yourself everyone wins.